Posted in blonde, hair, inspired, life, platinum

Jealous

Inspired by my decision  to go platinum.

They say that blondes have more fun right? I wouldn’t really know otherwise since I’ve been blonde my entire life. But when ever I go lighter, it always seems to feel a little more fun.

So who’s jealous?

This isn’t about me being blonde, although after going completely platinum today at the salon and chopping off about 6 inches, I thought to myself,

“Sixteen year old me would be so jealous if we met today not knowing who I was”

This thought came as I was curling my hair in my apartment bathroom and remembering that this is the ideal hair color I wanted when I was sixteen. That thought lead to another forming an entire train and eventually this post.

Sixteen year old me would be jealous of my make up, wondering how I could afford it. Little does she know I spend about the same as her- I’ve just developed skills making that drugstore make up look like Mac (‘K’ maybe not quite- but she wouldn’t know).

Sixteen year old me would be jealous of my smile, “How is she so happy??” but she doesn’t know we both share the burden of anxiety… I am happy because I know that anxiety isn’t me just ’cause I struggle with it. But she  doesn’t see past the brace-less smile I wear so easily.

Sixteen year old me would be jealous I don’t have a curfew, that I live with my loving spouse who treats me so much better than all the boys she’s dated. “Why can’t I have someone to love me?” She doesn’t know it yet but she has already met him and just has to wait till he comes home from Mexico.

Sixteen year old me would be jealous that I bought a brand new car, that I have an apartment, that I live next to the ocean! She doesn’t know that I totaled my car a month ago, she doesn’t know that our apartment has popcorn sealings and no dishwasher. She doesn’t know about the thousands of sea gulls and the train and the puking neighbor that keeps us up every now and then.

Sixteen year old me would be jealous of my boot collection, my shoes, my style, my iPhone, my camera, my eyebrows, my skin, my eyelashes…

Sixteen year old me would be jealous of my confidence. My determination to make my dream a reality.  She would be jealous to the point of hating me because I am the girl she wants to be! But that’s just a fantasy- she could never be me… “Her life is perfect! Why  can’t I be like her?!”

Sixteen year old me…

And to everyone else

Who I appear  to be is only just the surface. Who I want you to see. No one is perfect! I am very fortunate to find such a loving husband and to know he’s the one at such a young age, and to discover who I am and what I want to do for the rest of my life and to be excited about it! I’m lucky!

But we all have our struggles. Who you see is never the whole picture. Don’t be jealous of someone just because their life appears to be perfect. I didn’t write this to brag about how perfect my life is. I wrote this post because I realized that my life is much better off than I thought. If my sixteen year old self would be envious of who I am today, I’d say that I’m on the right track!

Is your sixteen year old self jealous of you???

The only person you should ever try to be better than, is the person you were the day before.

blondie

 

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Author:

I'm a mom of a rainbow baby girl, Chanel. Wife to a smart, hilarious man, Derek. I'm a photographer, a runner, and I'm just trying to figure out how life as a new mommy works!

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