“You look so good!”
“What have you been doing?”
“How did you lose the weight so fast?”
“You really bounced back!”
“You’re so skinny!”
“You don’t even look like you had a baby!”
I know, I know, you mean well. And I say thank you and smile and laugh it off. But the truth is, I’ve done absolutely nothing to get my body to where it is 8 months post baby…and these comments actually make me uncomfortable.
I heard once, “If it’s something they can’t fix in the next five minutes, don’t comment.” It was in reference to making criticisms to others about their appearance. For example: “Your shirt is inside out” is something a person could quickly change, they just have to find somewhere private to do so. “You have a pimple on your chin” is something they can’t fix in the next five minutes. The point is to uplift those around us by making them aware…I think.
But I’ve always felt a little awkward when someone comments on a feature I have absolutely no control over, even if that comment is a compliment. It just isn’t personal. As humans, we like to hear praise for the things we have actually accomplished rather than things that just happen to us. 
“You look so good!” “You look so happy!”
“What have you been doing?” “Wow, you are so talented!”
“How did you lose the weight so fast?” “Did you make that? Its awesome!”
“You really bounced back!” “How did you know those would look so good together?”
“You’re so skinny!” “Wow you really have an eye for composition!”
“You don’t even look like you had a baby!” “You are such a good mom!”
Instead of commenting on how peoples’ bodies look, why not compliment them on their accomplishments, their goals they set their minds to and achieved, their skills. When the majority of the comments someone hears is solely about their body, it feels superficial and impersonal.
I know I’ve lost all the weight I gained during my pregnancy plus more, and no I haven’t done a thing to get to this point. This is not something I worked my butt off for. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy about it, even more happy that I didn’t have to do anything. But with all of the work I put elsewhere and my accomplishments in my personal life and my business, it’s a little frustrating and uncomfortable that this still seems to be the main thing that stands out to people about me.
So next time you see someone, either on social media or in person, think a little harder, see past the surface. Comment on their life rather than their appearance. If anything makes people feel good, its knowing that someone cares about them as a person. By commenting on something that’s going on in their personal life or career, it shows that you have been paying attention. It shows that you are a person who holds value to them.
Shannon Welton Blog 